This deviation has been labeled as containing themes not suitable for all deviants.
Log in to view

Deviation Actions

eclectic-reception's avatar
Published:
294 Views

Literature Text

This content is unavailable.
I thought up a new character today in preparation for a role play, and I have to say I really like him so far. He's so intriguing, and, yes, I know that sounds weird, but it takes me awhile to get to know my own characters. Anyway, I'm not sure how much I'll write with him, but this begged to be done. I know it is very vague; that's how I wanted it to be. I think I will enter it in the contest I'm writing for, but I'm kind of afraid the judges might search it up on the net to see if I plagiarized and then see it on here and think I did. But, anyway, critiques would be really helpful since I'm entering this in a contest. The deadline is the 30th of this month, April, so it would be nice if I could make any revisions before then.

For the Live-Love-Write writing prompt.
Mature
© 2013 - 2024 eclectic-reception
Comments46
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
bitbyboth's avatar
:star::star::star::star: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

The technique as always in your writing is amazing, all the little details, comparisons and descriptions. It makes it very easy to imagine and very clear so of course that's done well <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)"/>

I've seen this kind of concept before of course that's not new, it's all a basis on how you tackle it and I think you accomplish that pretty well with a mix of intrigue, paranormal, and horror elements. The way Karak tricks his victim into opening up the door is a little chilling in its patience and in being how most people would likely deal with an annoying bird to try to shoo it away.

I think the only thing I wish was for a clearer look into Karak's head but in this case it's I think a good thing, it leaves us with more questions than answers and so it stays with you a little bit longer as you think about it :3 Overall I liked the piece <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)"/>